I’d Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Superpowers abound. Villains rule the world. A transmigrated dork that has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Strong-armed by the Superhero Enhancement System into the thankless job of endlessly performing good deeds in a world where such actions are often met with violence, Lucas Lynn doesn’t have much choice in regards to using his supposed gifts. It’s bad enough having to pretend to be a supervillain, but how exactly does Boss System expect him to save the world with only the help of a homeless orphan, a dog that’s smarter than he is, and a yoyo? Oh, just trick some supervillains into becoming superheroes instead? You make it sound so easy! [Bzzt… Scan complete. Analyzing…]’Eh? ‘[Analysis complete. Positive value found, now loading… Loading complete. ]’Okay, WTF is…'[Binding successful. Congratulations upstanding citizen. You have been selected by the Superhero Enhancement System. Please select your desired enhancement. The following options are avail…]’I’M DYING! IS NOT DYING AN OPTION! ‘[Error, invalid selection. An enhancement will be randomly selected. Randomizing… Strength has been selected. Enhanced strength will be calibrated for your rebirth. Please look forward to it. ]’WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F…’With this final thought, Lucas has finished dying in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk. Little character theater: Lucas, attempting to broker a deal for benefits for his freshly forced vocation of heroic servitude: “Hey 427, do I at least get some vacation time? ”System # 427, completely deadpan: […There’s a new minor task available to the southwest. There’s also a cute dog you can pet over there. ]Lucas, with newfound enthusiasm: “WHERE’S THE PUPPER!