这道长能处，算命就送女朋友！

[Lighthearted Comedy Pop Culture References Feel-Good Story]

Fang Yang transmigrates to a parallel world and becomes a Taoist priest. One day, he’s invited to join a live-streamed variety show.

Guest: “Master, I can’t let her go. What should I do?”

Fang Yang: “She’s bad luck for you!”

Guest: “Master, I found a big ancient tomb. Want to join me?”

Fang Yang: “No, I can’t handle those traps.”

Guest: “What traps?”

Fang Yang: “The police force!”

Guest: “Master, can a monk curse?”

Fang Yang: “Cursing out loud clears the heart. Holding it in pollutes the soul!”

“Let me tell you, some people are destined to be cursed. Cursing them fulfills their fate—it’s an act of great virtue!”

Guest: “Master, I hated my teachers in school and now hate my boss at work. What should I do?”

Fang Yang: “You have the aura of an emperor!”

Netizen: “The Master once told me that the greatest virtue in life is forgiving others for their mistakes. I was deeply moved… until he said he could never do it himself!”

Netizen: “Last time I asked the Master about the meaning of ‘To learn the Way in the morning and to die in the evening.’ He told me it means, ‘In the morning, I ask for directions to your house. By evening, I’ll beat you to death!’”